Daily Catholic Lectio
Sun, 6 Sep 2026
XXIII Sunday in Ordinary Time
Eze 33:7-9. Rom 13:8-10. Mt 18:15-20
Winning the Other
Stephen Covey speaks of four ways in which human relationships can move. “I lose, you lose”, “I lose, you win,” “I win, you lose,” and“I win, you win”. The fourth is the attitude of mature persons who live under the guidance of wisdom.
Today’s Gospel invites us to this fourth way: winning the other. In Christian life, the other is not an enemy to be defeated, but a brother or sister to be won back.
Matthew places this teaching in the community discourse. Community life is not easy. Even in the Acts of the Apostles, we read that the believers were of one heart and one soul. Yet, even there, the Greek-speaking widows were neglected in the daily distribution. Wherever human beings live together, ego, misunderstanding, desire, and hurt also enter.
Jesus says, “If your brother sins against you.” Even when he sins, he remains your brother. Even when she hurts you, she remains your sister. Therefore, we cannot say, “Let him come to me first,” or “Let her ask forgiveness first.” Jesus asks the offended person to take responsibility for the relationship.
The first step is personal: “Go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.” Not to friends. Not on social media. Not through WhatsApp status. Not before relatives. But directly to that person. Why? To protect truth, dignity, relationship, and confidentiality.
Jesus says, “If he listens to you, you have won your brother.” The Greek word used here is kerdainō, which means to gain something valuable. A brother is not an enemy to be crushed. A sister is not a problem to be exposed. The other is someone precious to be won.
The second step is to take one or two others. This comes from Deuteronomy, where the testimony of two or three witnesses is needed. This second step gives another chance for reconciliation. It also gives support to both persons.
Here we must avoid two extremes: remaining completely silent, and announcing everything to everyone. Silence can wound the truth. Public exposure can wound the person.
The third step is to tell it to the Church. Here the word ekklesia becomes important. The Church is not a place of punishment, but a space where broken relationships can be healed. The same word is used when Jesus says that He will build His Church on Peter. Therefore, the Church is a place of unity and renewal of relationships.
If the person does not listen even to the Church, Jesus says, “Let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” This should not become a permission for hatred. In Matthew’s context, it points to the authority of the community. It is also a last attempt to awaken the person. If love does not move someone, perhaps distance and fear may make that person return.
Jesus then says, “Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” These are the same words spoken earlier to Peter. Authority in the Church is not domination. It is responsibility for communion.
Jesus adds, “If two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.” The word behind “agree” is related to symphōneō, from which we get “symphony.” Christian community must become a symphony of hearts.
Finally, Jesus says, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” This is not only about prayer meetings or worship. It is about family, parish, society, and daily relationships. The presence of Jesus is not only cultic; it is also existential. He is present where people gather in His name and try to live reconciled lives. “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” sings the psalm.
The first reading gives another image: the watchman. God tells Ezekiel, “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel.” A watchman stands on the wall of a fortified city and warns the people of danger. He cannot stop every danger by himself. But he must warn. If he remains silent, the blood-guilt will be upon him.
In human relationships, we are also watchmen. We are responsible for one another, though we cannot control one another. There is a difference between responsibility and control. A husband is responsible for his wife, but he cannot control her. A priest is responsible for his people, but he cannot control them. A friend is responsible for a friend, but cannot control the friend. Responsibility speaks. Control dominates.
The second reading gives the heart of all relationships: “Owe no one anything, except to love one another.” Love is the fulfilment of the law. Love, agapē, brings the law to its fullness, plērōma. In community life, winning the other is possible only when love becomes our debt. We must live with the trembling heart of one who knows: “I owe love to this person.”
The responsorial psalm warns us: “Do not harden your hearts.” At Meribah and Massah, the people murmured, became bitter, and hardened their hearts. The greatest obstacle to winning the other is a hard heart. A hard heart prefers victory over relationship. A hard heart prefers silence, gossip, or revenge over dialogue.
Today three questions stand before us.
In my family, parish, ministry, or community, what has the other person done against me?
Am I ready to take responsibility for that person and that relationship?
What will I do now?
Let us remove murmuring, bitterness, and hardness of heart. Let us protect relationships. Let us not seek “I win, you lose.” Let us seek the Christian way: “I win, you win.” For when I win my brother, I too am won. When I win my sister, the community is won. And where two or three live reconciled in the name of Jesus, He is there among them.
Fr. Yesu Karunanidhi
Archdiocese of Madurai
A Yesni Prays Initiative
Yesu Karunanidhi 
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